can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
