I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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