Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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