I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
