Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
