I can tuck mytits in my pants
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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