Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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