why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
