mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize