We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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