it hurts more in the daytime
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
