Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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