I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
