you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
