I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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