it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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