Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
