That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
