He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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