Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
