What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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