I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
