I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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