thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
