You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
