Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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