i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
