Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
