Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
this will be a night to untag.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
3 2 1 whiskey
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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