If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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