every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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