Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
