Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
