can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
