Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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