just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
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