Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
