I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize