The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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