gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
