I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
