dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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