my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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