How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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