somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
