There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
