I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
