She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
