My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
