ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
