Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
