I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
