Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
