y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
