my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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