I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
