Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
