How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
