Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
