If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
