Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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