when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
