If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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